Jackson
He sits alone in the evening
In his reclining easy chair
But in his mind he’s back in Pensacola
A dew-sweeper in the crisp clean morning air
He finds it hard to get around now
One bad knee and two bad hips
But he swears but God he’ll be out there next year
Holding a rake and not this Goddamn walking stick
And with a constancy that some might call a fallacy he smiles
Is it bravery or the vestiges of slavery or just his style
Hully knew the breeze, he could just feel it there
He told his man to hold his ball up on that wind
When Floyd made birdies, he took a trophy home
While Hully, he just hugged Marie at the end
And with a faithfulness that some might label foolishness he smiles
Is it hopefulness or just the fear of loneliness or just his style
He says, I’ll see you down in Jackson, I’m still living it up down here
The Rabbit won’t be running he’s in Jersey drinking beer
But I will read the wind and club you to a victory, next year
Now there’s a Tiger on the TV screen
And that’s a swing that’ll make a black man so proud
At his best he could have ridden him to the golden tee
Still could do it now with just one good eye
And with a constancy that some might call a fallacy he smiles
Is it bravery or the vestiges of slavery or just his style
He says, I’ll see you down in Jackson, I’m still living it up down here
The Rabbit won’t be running he’s in Jersey drinking beer
But I will read the wind and club you to a victory, next year
Last Chance The irony was when he finally got sick He hadn’t had a smoke in years Then he could hardly breathe or leave his bed Second wife drove him in to the city next morning But they just confirmed his fears About the end of the road coming around the bend Images shattered when the children gathered To bend sympathetic ears But old silence reared its shifty, solemn head Even Jenny came around looking duty-bound She hadn’t seen his face in years It was the last chance, but nothing much was said The old crow’s flying high on the midnight sky He’s not bound to land so baby don’t be shy To let your voice ring like it cannot ring again You’d be so relieved if you could just say what you mean Before the curtain falls on the final scene I drove all night with a storm in sight A cold blanket pulled across the land And lost time swirling round and round in my head There’s no choice you know when letting go Is in someone else’s hands And even warm words aren’t enough to wake the dead The old crow’s flying high on the midnight sky He’s not bound to land so baby don’t be shy To let your voice ring like it cannot ring again I’d be so relieved if I could just say what I mean Before the curtain falls on the final scene
Better Yield Head in a constant spin with my mind racing Concentration slipping like gears stripping Has the mill broke down or is it simply needing Some new grist to grind for a better yield Sitting along and working out bad endings Motivation waning like daylight fading Has the seam run dry or is it simply needing Some experience to mine for a better yield Farmers know that it’s a matter of time And patient action’s not is own reward Do they see some direction that I can’t find In those long lines of golden corn Not an hour to spare, not excuse for sleeping Resignation failing to calm this yearning I was a happy boy, I was not expecting Such a constant struggle for, a better yield
Fall The summer was sneaking Out throught the screen door The door that’s so patched up You can’t see through it anymore I rose to run out after But it was gone on down the river Leaves were falling, fall was rising With the winds out on the water And the smell of sad surrender It pierced the air like a whisper As I stood and caught the sunlight Racing to the kitchen floor Oh the times I’ve had Haven’t been so bad But there’s this wistful ghost that won’t go away It blows into town When the fall comes around And the world is tinged with the scent of slow decay I stood by the curtain Watched the dust float, uncertain Like a million thoughts at midnight Two bodies in the tide You are my friend on the pathway You are an angel and a devil And I don’t know if I’ll hear your voice once more Calling out to mine And in that very situation The end of winter’s short vacation I was lonely as a clock tower Still I had to crack a smile Cause the times we’ve had Haven’t been so bad And what did we deserve anyway We all try to find Something sure and kind As we roll these rocks across the dying world a ways
Middle Ground I saw those engines roaring across a high place The clouds of smoke enthralled the crowd But my eyes were searching the earth for your face Where my strength is found, in the middle ground I saw grand gestures rising from her hands and her face She took me out to paint the town But your eyes, they brim with empathy and grace Through the ups and downs, of the middle ground We may come from a promised land And back there may be where we’re bound The world between becomes me when I understand That the truth may lie In the middle ground So now when the rain’s beginning to soak right through my brain I cover up and I hunker down I look in your eyes and I know I will sustain I am lost and found, in the middle ground
Never Be Mine There’s things I wish that I could say But I know, you’d only turn away Like me, you can’t lie About conflict or desire And I know you’re never gonna be mine Days when nothing’s going right I want to talk to you at night And touch you, on the line I hold the phone in the dark alone And I know you’ll never be mine I’m looking for some words that you can’t find But I’m blind when my soul is waiting Blind when my heart’s on fire In time I’d learn to love you well A hand up every time you fell But you won’t fall this time That’s beyond doubt or denial And I know you’re never gonna be mine But I’m still looking for those words that you can’t find Cause I’m blind when my soul is waiting Blind when my heart’s on fire There’s things I wish that I could say…
Nobody Here There’s nobody here right now Feel like I’m riding some old train As it rolls through the night And rips through a driving rain Oh yes I’ll go out of my mind That won’t take me too far Cause I know you’re gone Hell, I don’t even know where you are Did you run to Vancouver Did you roll to New York Forwards and far away Anywhere but down this drain There’s nobody here right now No one within these four walls But still I’m listenin’ For some sign of life down the hall Oh yes I’m going out of my mind I know, I’ve been there before In empty cars, and shitty bars And standing for the last time at your door I should run away to Vancouver I should roll to New York Forwards and far away, Anywhere but down this here drain There’s nobody here right now Nobody riding on this train There’s just the sound of a sad whistle Blowing again and again |
Out There
Out on highway 89
Just across the Quebec line
Emptied mind attuned to the sound of the radio
I press the pedal down near the floor
A hundred miles outside that frantic roar
Of the city, and the life we’d come to know
Out there
Without a care
Alone and in love
With the idea of everything
I pulled the car down to a stop
By the young green waves of this year’s crop
And watched the dust rise on the wind beside the road
I remember when you were young
We used to travel out on the weekends some,
We’d just go anywhere, cause we had nowhere to go
Out there
Without a care
Alone and in love
With the idea of everything
Oh my baby, please don’t feel like you’ve gotta move, every hour of every day
I can’t tell you all the times I ran in circles, just to keep my self at bay
I watched you grow, now my road is clear
But how I wish you were here
You’re still a young girl in my mind even though
You’re out there
Without a care
Alone and in love
With the idea of everything
Ruth (For Ruth Deware, 1913-2000)
Emma was a baby
Born on a Wednesday
In a clean white private room
Those tears and smiles are meant to welcome you
Ruth died Saturday
Though it was late night Friday
When she closed her eyes for good
Her short breathing stopped when her heart told it to
No roadmap, no sign
On this great long incline
No reason to cry
Just a mountain to climb
Roast pork supper
At a cottage on the water
With a memory in every view
You’ve gone to join your friends who long ago left you
But who’ll watch the river
And who’ll hold the center
Of this family who loved you
It seems more than a little bit fragile now to tell the truth
No roadmap, no sign
Just this mountain to climb
No reason to cry
Just a moment in time
Uncommon Bond I’m was just like an old man on the bench outside the bank I use to come home late and pick something up to heed that constant call It was always the menace on my road, cause I never knew just how far I’d go We had a little baby, she was lying in your arms All dressed up in her hat and coat and boots and mitts and scarf You chose to run, but I didn’t go, I just held her like I held you years ago And that gold will lie in wait til you come home Though we walk on different paths, you are still my own Cause we share and effortless constant in this crazy world And uncommon bond We were trapped and wild like fish in a bowl Swimming around and around til the currents cast a wall from a fragile shoal And our brains were muddy and our eyes weren’t clear And you drifted on a salty stream of tears And that gold will lie in wait til you come home Though we walk on different paths, you are still my own Cause we share and effortless constant in this crazy world And uncommon bond There was a bond in the way, you held me on that day and you told me not to cry all alone An uncommon bond in the loving words I told you everyday, when I held you close eyes closed tight in the dark Now I’m gonna let it fly, I’m sick of lying everyday Standing here pretending I don’t love in that same old way Not a fool alive stands further from the truth, And I’m a lot further now than I was in my youth And that gold will lie in wait til you come home Though we walk on different paths, you are still my own Cause we share and effortless constant in this crazy world And uncommon bond |